dinner

Whether you’re whooping it up at an office party or a private party it’s important to establish boundaries. Parties are a great way to meet new people and impress your boss. Play by the rules and have a great time, but not too good of a time. If you don’t like playing by the rules just think of these points as important guidelines, so you can create and leave a good impression, and avoid embarrassment.

Ask about the dress code. If you’re attending a party as a guest and don’t know the dress code, ask what people wore at previous parties. For an office party, if in doubt, dress for business but lighten the mood with a bit colour and stylish accessories. This is the time when you can dress fun and chic at the office, but ladies should steer clear of low cut and revealing outfits. It’s a holiday party, so whether it’s at an office or a home, sweat pants, frayed jeans, and weekend wear are out of the question. Dress comfortably but show respect for yourself and others.

Show up. If you RSVP’d to a party then you should be there. It can be tempting to not show up and hang out with work people you spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week with. But your boss will know who was there and who wasn’t, so be a team player. Not showing up to a dinner party is unacceptable. If it’s a sit down dinner then arrangements have been made, your place is set, and people are waiting for you.

Food matters. Have something to eat before the party. Dinner parties rarely start on time so it’s unlikely you’ll spoil your appetite. If you’re attending a party that’s only serving appetizers don’t count on that holding you until the end of the evening. Have a good dinner before-hand. This way your stomach won’t growl and make you feel uncomfortable all night, plus it will help absorb alcohol.

This isn’t the time to binge drink. Over imbibing has a tendency to cause people to forget all the rules to follow. Limit yourself to a very specific number of alcoholic drinks, especially if you don’t drink regularly, to two drinks (since most people won’t stick to just one). A good practice is to have a water with lemon or lime between beverages. Drinking past your limit and letting it all hang out is a no-no. It doesn’t matter if you’re with friends or not, this is likely the time you’ll do or say something you will regret.

Don’t forget where you are. The office party is still a business activity. A private party in someones home or at a restaurant isn’t that different. It may not be business related, but you can leave a bad impression and make the evening uncomfortable for others. Act accordingly and don’t be a downer or a complainer. You might need to handle people who are intoxicated, it’s important deal with with them in a gracious yet firm manner.

Connect with people, but don’t be handsy. There’s never a time when it’s all right to kiss up to the boss, act lewd, say vulgar things, or come on strong to someone you have a romantic interest in. Parties create a great opportunity for you to get to know people you don’t often get the chance to talk to, so make an effort to mingle with people outside your department or clique.

On the fip-side if you plan on being a wallflower you won’t have much fun. Engage with others and introduce yourself to people you don’t know. This may be outside your comfort zone, but it’s better than sitting by yourself and texting or tweeting while others around you are having a good time. If you have difficulty starting conversations think of some topics ahead of time, like new movies, current events, or ask people about themselves and get them talking. Try to enjoy yourself even if you aren’t. Putting on a happy face in many instances can elevate and even change your mood.

Avoid over eating. Don’t stuff your face, remember you aren’t there for the food. Eat until you’re satiated, not until you hurt. If you don’t like the food then don’t eat it, but don’t send it back or complain. This holds true for any party. Having said that if you happen to be served food that is not prepared safely (like seafood) then discreetly let the server know.

Your plus one. Clue your guest into what to expect at the party. Dress code, company culture, conversation topics that are off limits, etc. Everyone wants their significant other or plus one to make them look good, especially to their boss or new friends. At the same time you want to make sure your guest has a good time, and doesn’t feel too out of place or left out. Don’t assume he/she remembers your co-workers from last years party, or any other party. Make those introductions, and if you don’t know the person’s name pony up and introduce yourself first.

Refrain from PDA. Public displays of affection are best left to the privacy of your own home. If you’re at an office party and dating someone you work with, or who works at the same company, this isn’t the time to come out. Even if you’re with someone you really like, don’t sneak off to the copy room, or bathroom for a hook-up. Let them know you’re interested, exchange numbers, and wait for when you’re both sober. This includes your guest too, wait until you get home, or you know – get a room.

Gift giving. Many offices and other parties do Secret Santa gifts, make sure yours is appropriate for the group you are with. Don’t be ungrateful and complain about the gift you receive. For a private or house party gifting may seem optional, but it’s key to show your appreciation. There are lots of affordable gifts to choose from especially if you don’t know the host/hostess. Coasters, small kitchen items, alcoholic beverages, flowers, chocolates, there are a lot of options.

Put in your time. Don’t show up unfashionable late and then try to sneak out early. You may not want to be there but since you are take advantage of the time. Don’t leave right after dinner, set a time to leave like 45 minutes afterwards. Let your host/hostess know you need to leave early, and make sure you have a good reason.

Don’t overstay your welcome. Don’t be last person out the door. If after parties are typical than it’s fine to stay, or leave with a group to another location, but recognize when the party is over.

Say thank you. Don’t leave without thanking the host/hostess or both (if it’s a couple). If you’re at an office party you can thank your boss, or if you know who organized the event thank that person.